Caleb Pieplow on Aesop...otherwise know as...

"Untitled Retelling in First Person of The Tortoise and the Hare."
Or...something like.

Okay, so I anticipated being somewhat bored today, and so I took along my good friend, Rob Roy, by Sir Walter Scott, who has been a very faithful companion since, July, I'd say, and my notebook to add any thoughts I had for my upcoming NaNo novel.
Let it be known that I rarely reread my own writing...bad form, yes, I've only recently begun realizing what a good idea it is to come back and read my work later after the initial satisfaction of putting the words on the page has passed, and I can look at the piece in more of a objective light.
All this to say, there was a short story nestled in between a list of themes from 'The Necklace,' and a set of paragraphs exhibiting two different settings of a similar scene, namely a suitor calling on a young lady. I knew the story was there, I had leafed through it many times since I wrote it last August as I was working through "Windows to the World," a Christian literature appreciation curriculum. But I had never read it over again. Really having nothing better to do, I stopped on that page and started reading. Knowing that it was an animal story, and that it was in first person, I was honestly expecting it to be...well, a little hokey.
I was pleasantly surprised! The writing style was for the most part pretty snappy, there were only a couple of omitted letters, the dialog wasn't terrible, and the main character's squirrelish mannerisms didn't come off as cartoon-ish and overdone as I was afraid of.
Okay, enough of that. Here it is. Let me know what you think and if it is in fact hokey, and I just can't see it...:)



"Here we go again."
The disgust in Priscilla Mole's voice was evident, and try as I might to resist it, it also came through in my voice:
"Is there nothing else he can talk about?"
"Obviously there isn't," She snorted, and, taking her child by the paw, disappeared into her tunnel. I stood for a moment, reflectively staring at the empty patch of grass in front of me that had just been vacated, before turning back to the crowd of fawners and scoffers - there were plenty of both in this stretch of border forest - surrounding the hare.
Maxwell was the happy owner of the most overblown ego I had ever seen, and took any chance he got to flash it before us all. The only parts of him that I found noteworthy were his long, muscular legs. He was fast, but we all knew it, and had heard it so many times, none of us were likely to forget his speed. I scampered up the bark of an elm and out under a low limb above the group and listened.
"...And who do you think made it back first?" Max asked rhetorically, eyes tracing the line of the crowd.
"You did, didn't you, Max?" chirped out a sprite of a rabbit girl, apparently before she realized it, for she immediately covered her mouth and turned, big-eyed to her friends.
I rolled my eyes, already tired of it.
"Right, sweetie!" He threw an exaggerated wink in the direction of the girl, and she and her friends hid their faces and giggled.
Mine wasn't the only sigh of exasperation to escape, I was glad to hear.
"I've never been beaten, here or in the meadow!" Max boasted.
It was true, but it stung. I felt my tail arching involuntarily over my back. A hedghog, undoubtedly the bravest I'd ever seen, piped up from the fringes of the crowd.
"The right animal hasn't shown up yet!"
There was a smattering of affirming chuckles, nods and hoots of agreement, but Max silenced them with his next statement.
"A lot you know about it, Kev," he waved a derisive paw in the offending creature's direction before sticking out the other and sweeping the assembled animals with it, "I'll bet I could beat any one of you, any day of the week. Come on, who's up for it?"
Again, his eyes were sweeping - sweeping from face to face, reveling in his moment.
"I'll race you."
The voice shattered the moment and Max rounded on the speaker, only to gape in astonishment. Terrence the Tortoise emerged laboriously from the crowd. Max stood speechless for a full minute, before bursting out laughing. When he had suitably regained his composure he asked incredulously:
"Are you serious? I mean - no offense, but I could run circles around you all the way!"
Terrence gave his slow smile and nodded.
"I suppose so, but save your talk for your victory celebration. You challenged, I accepted. Shall we race?"
Max laughed again, still apparently not believing this turn of events.
"All right, Terrence. I hate to do this to you, but - yes! Let's race!"
Terrence smiled again and there was a strange, knowing look in his eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'll type the rest, including the famous race, tomorrow. I need to get up early in the morning. :)